The babies are crying. The rent is due. The car quit working. Getting low on food, parent-teacher conferences, school plays, sports and noisy neighbors. Mom is tired. Mom is going crazy. Aaaah! Mom needs help! A phone call! Here comes the help wagon... For survival and sanity, communities provide help and support to its members.
Communities function in different ways and different styles. The assumption that communities provide us with a sense of stability (Latterell 87) holds true. Take for example the life of military spouses. Military families have transient lifestyles. They move every two to three years all over the globe. There are many struggles and challenges along the way. But the military community has an enormous support system in their midst. As military families move away from where they grew up, their sense of belonging is somewhat shattered. Seventeen years ago, when my family and I were stationed overseas, military families get together for potlucks and games on the weekends. We shared our activities of the week, struggles and anxieties and in turn received advice and nuggets of wisdom to solve problems. Our community provided moral support which was much needed especially being away from home. When one of us hurt, we all hurt. Our support group provided a safety net to all its members. When somebody needed help with the kids, someone always stepped in. When something broke, someone from the mix always had the ability to fix it. The support was tremendous and unmatchable. We were one big family sharing the same purpose and needs.
As communities change and evolve over time, the need of support is still necessary. Today, military spouses still have the same challenges and struggles as we did years ago, but the support system is not quite as personal. Micole Dixon, military wife of six years, gets her support from social networking on the internet and her cell phone which makes communication so much easier. She said that she doesn’t need to go socialize outside of home, as she puts it, “My greatest comfort is home.” Back in the early 90’s, cell phones, computers and social networking sites were not the norm. We depended on each other and the command ombudsman for news and the whereabouts of our loved ones. E-mails were restricted for fear of compromising their positions and were permitted only through the commanding officer’s approval. Because of phone bill costs, we were able to call home once a week for free through the DSN (Defense Support Network) system. Today, military spouses get their information about their loved ones through e-mail, twenty-four hour cable news, and military websites. Cell-phones are handy so long as there’s a signal. The need to personally interact with other spouses is now replaced with chat rooms and social networking sites. Help is just a phone call or a click away. Micole said, “I pretty much stay by myself, to avoid the drama and cheating.” When she needs help, she deals with it alone or calls home to Chicago.
Communities also provide spiritual support to its members. When members are together, there is this spot that you can get where all the tensions will melt, all-time pressures will be relieved and happiness can be realized (Brooks 147). Again, in the military community, there is a slew of religions represented. For anyone who needs spiritual support, the community has different avenues to answer those needs. Members are always willing to pitch in. There are costs of being in a military atmosphere though. The personal sacrifice is tremendous. Because of the constant moving, most spouses put their dreams on hold. As Micole said, “I set aside what I want to do for myself; I never feel settled and my greatest challenge is finding a job!” Micole graduated last year with a bachelor’s degree in Business and Marketing which she took online. Loneliness and worry are the two major struggles in this community. But the support and activities distract these anxieties because of members experiencing the same circumstances.
Loyalties in communities are not restrictive. Although communities provide their members with a sense of belonging, members are free to seek support from outside their core group. Micole gets her support more with non-military friends than military friends. In the military community, members are very patriotic. Their mission to defend the freedom of all is what holds them together. If someone from the group has a different political view, the community as a whole does not alienate or force submission of that individual. Moral and spiritual support is not withheld. Diverse opinions are encouraged and thus make the
organization stronger.
Although communities change over time with new cultures, traditions and advancement of technology, its main function is what holds it together. Communities are sources of moral, spiritual and physical support. Members within the community feel protected and their sense of belonging is being satisfied. The fear of being judged is not a concern; the community becomes a safety net.
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